Science is a Blunt Mistress
Here is my 13th fan fiction. It was just another day at school, and Mrs. Johnson was getting ready to make an announcement to the class. “Okay everyone the annual school science fair is coming up.” -”The one school event I always avoid,” said Lincoln, as he looked towards the audience. “The last time I tried to do a science project it ended in complete disaster. Flashback to when Lincoln was in second grade! The entire room was covered in green slime, and everyone was glaring at a seven year old Lincoln. -”I've never seen such an incompetent attempt at science by a student in all my life,” said one of the judges. -”Not only did you fail miserably,” said his second grade teacher, “but you have detention for a month.” Everyone in the room laughed at Lincoln, while he stood there completely embarrassed. Cuts back to the present time! -”I'm never going to repeat that fiasco,” said Lincoln, as he spoke to the audience. -”I also have to mention that if you enter the science fair it will help boost your science grade,” said Mrs. Johnson. “Also if you win that will help even more.” -”Say what?” said Lincoln. “I gotta enter now, my science grade is really low, and if this will help boost it, then I'm in,” said Lincoln, as he spoke to the audience. -”How are you going to pull off a decent enough science project Lincoln?” asked Clyde. “i know you need to improve your grade, but after the last time you attempted a science project, it could end up in another disaster. -”Don't worry Clyde!” said Lincoln. “I've got an ace in the hole. Later that day Lincoln walks home from school, and walks up to Lisa and Lily's room. “Hey Lisa!” said Lincoln. -”Hello Lincoln,” responded Lisa. “What can I do for you?” -”I really, really, really need a favor,” said Lincoln. -”What kind of favor?” asked Lisa. -”Well you don't know about the whole science fair fiasco that happened when I was seven,” said Lincoln, “but I really need to enter the upcoming science fair at school. -”Science fair fiasco?” said Lisa. “Please tell me about it Lincoln,” said Lisa, a she slyly grinned. -”You just want to make fun of me don't you?” said Lincoln upset. “I come here to ask for help, and you just want to laugh at me.” -”Okay, okay I'm sorry Lincoln,” said Lisa. “Please just tell me why you wish to enter the school science fair?” -”Well back in second grade I tried to enter the school's science fair, and it ended in a big disaster with my project blowing up, and flooding the whole gym in green slime,” said Lincoln. -”That's incredibly embarrassing Lincoln,” said Lisa, as she rolled her eyes. Lincoln gave her an upset look, and Lisa assured him she wont make fun of him. “I'm not going to laugh at you Lincoln.” -”My grade in science is down the toilet right now, and entering the science fair will help boost my grade, and if I win it'll boost it even more,” said Lincoln. -”Understandable reason to enter,” said Lisa. “I believe you want me to help you with your science fair project?” -”Yes!” said Lincoln. “Will you help me,” said Lincoln, as he got on his knees. -”Of course I will big brother,” said Lisa. “After our whole encounter with aliens, I have come to really respect you as someone I can trust, and your family, so I'll help you.” -”Thanks Lisa” said Lincoln gratefully, as he hugged Lisa, and Lisa hugged him back. -”So when is the science fair?” asked Lisa. -”It's next month,” responded Lincoln. -”I can help you come up with an amazing project in only a week,” said Lisa. -”Just one thing thought,” said Lincoln, “you'll have to come to the school to help me out. Because of so many mishaps with past science fairs, we have to make them at school, so the staff can examine the projects so there wont be any explosions, or any problems like that.” -”Very well!” said Lisa. “I have no plans for the rest of the month, so I can easily come over to your school, and help you with your project.” -”Thanks Lisa!” said Lincoln. “We'll start tomorrow after school. This is great with Lisa helping me, not only will I boost my grade in science, but I wont humiliate myself this time,” said Lincoln, as he looked towards the audience. The next say at school, Lincoln was waiting for Lisa to arrive. She finally arrived, and brought equipment to prepare for Lincoln's science project. “So Lincoln what exactly do you want to do for the science fair?” asked Lisa. -”I'm only in this to boost my grade,” said Lincoln, “so I'm not really trying to win or anything.” -”Unacceptable!” shouted Lisa. “I would never engage in a science fair, only to make something sub par. We're going to do something so spectacular, it'll make the other kids in the science fair green with envy.” -”Okay!” said Lincoln. “I still a few conditions.” -”Shoot!” said Lisa. -”Nothing that can cause explosions, or anything that will alter human appearance,” said Lincoln. -”Very well,” said Lisa. “Let us proceed. With the Lisa got out her supplied, and the two began to brainstorm ideas for Lincoln's science fair project. -”I'll be right back!” said Lincoln. “I have to use the bathroom.” -”Take your time,” replied Lisa, as Lincoln went out of the room. Just then a couple of boys from Lincoln's class came in. -”Hey look at the little egghead,” said one of the to boys. -”Your insults mean nothing to me,” responded Lisa. -”Tough talk from a little squirt,” said the other boy, as he knocked over Lisa's beakers. -”Hey!” shouted Lisa. -”What are you gonna do you little squirt?” said the first boy, as he shoved her down. “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,!” the boys laughed, as they walked out of the room. -”Just a minor annoyance,” said Lisa to herself. -”I'm back!” said Lincoln, as he walked in. “Hey why are the beakers knocked over?” -”I accidentally tipped them,” said Lisa. -”Well anyway,” said Lincoln, “let's head home. We can continue tomorrow. -”Okay Lincoln!” said Lisa, and with that they left the school, and headed home. As the two of them headed home Lisa couldn't help but think of the two boys who hassled her at the school. The next day at school Lisa and Lincoln were starting development on Lincoln's project, which was going to be a chemical that mutates germs, and gives them a creature like form. “This is definitely gonna be a crowd pleaser,” said Lincoln. “No other kids will make something this cool.” -”No other kids in your school have me to assist hem,” said Lisa. -”This is gonna be so cool!” said Lincoln, as they continued to work on his project. After a while Lincoln was getting the hang of the chemical mixing, and synthesizing, and was starting to be able to do it, without Lisa having to do it for him. -”Your chemistry skills are vastly improving Lincoln,” said Lisa. “I'm very impressed.” -”Me to!” said Mrs. Johnson, as she came in to observe Lincoln's progress. “You're doing quite well Lincoln, not only are your new chemistry skills boosting your science grade, but if you keep this up you might even win the science fair.” -”Thanks Mrs. Johnson!” said Lincoln. -”Keep up the good work,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she left the room. -”Okay Lincoln!” said Lisa. “Let us see how much you can do without my assistance,” said Lisa. With that Lincoln began to mix the chemicals in the beakers, and got the right mixture. Then he prepared to synthesize it,m and once it was ready he began to pour it over the germs to see if it would work. The germ began to take on a visible from, and even started to make noises. -”Very good Lincoln!” said Lisa. “Now we have to see if it can stay this way for a lengthy period of time,” said Lisa. “In case there's something defective with the chemical mixture. -”I gotta go get my backpack from my locker,” said Lincoln, as he went out of the room. -”Fascinating!” said Lisa, as she observed the mutated germ. “This could be a major scientific breakthrough.” -”This could be a major scientific breakthrough,” mocked one of the two boys, a s they came into the room. “What a dork.” -”Leave me alone!” demanded Lisa. -”The little worm is mouthing off to us,” said the second boy. -”Doesn't she know to respect her superiors?” said the first boy. With that the two of them snagged Lisa's glasses, and pushed her off her seat. -”This isn't funny!” said Lisa. “Give those back.” -”Come and get them,” said the first boy, as he held them above her. “The weak little worm can't reach for her stupid glasses,” said the first boy, as he dropped them, and they pushed Lisa down a gain. “Ha, ha, ha, ha!” they laughed, as they walked out of the room. Lisa felt around for her glasses, and eventually found them, with Lincoln holding them. “Oh thank you Lincoln.” -”What happened?” asked Lincoln. -”I simply dropped my glasses,” Lisa lied. -”So is the germ still in one piece?” asked Lincoln. -”It would appear the we need to strengthen the mutagen so that the germ can maintain it's physical integrity,” said Lisa. -”We still have four weeks till the science fair, so I'm in no rush,” said Lincoln. “Now come Lisa, let's go home.” The two of the were walking home, and Lincoln noticed Lisa looking a little down. “Are you okay?” asked Lincoln. -”Perfectly fine!” said Lisa. “It's only a small annoyance,” Lisa thought to herself. “I don't need to inform Lincoln about this.” The two of them arrived back home, and Lincoln was convinced Lisa wasn't telling him something. He went to his room, and reviewed all the notes he had taken while working on his project, but he kept thinking about Lisa, and what exactly was bothering her. -”Hey Lincoln,” said Lisa, as she came into his room. “So hopefully tomorrow we can start with the final preparations for your project.” -”What's wrong Lisa?” asked Lincoln. -”Whatever do you mean big brother?” asked Lisa back. -”I've noticed you've been acting a little strange while we've been doing this,” said Lincoln. “Every time we leave school you always look down, and you seem to be in a rush to get this project done.” -”There's nothing wrong Lincoln!” shouted Lisa. “Now drop the subject.” Lincoln was speechless after Lisa yelled at him, and she regretted what she did. “I'm sorry Lincoln!” said Lisa. “I didn't mean to snap at you.” -”It's okay Lisa!” said Lincoln, as she left his room. “I know there's something she's not telling me,” said Lincoln, as he looked towards the audience. “If she doesn't want to talk about it, then I wont force her. She can talk about it when she's ready.” With that, Lincoln put away his notes, and went to sleep. The following day Lincoln was waiting for Lisa, as she came into the room with Lily. “Why'd you bring Lily?” asked Lincoln. -”No one was home, so I had no choice,” responded Lisa. -”I can handle this for you,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she picked up Lily. “What a lovely baby,” said Mrs. Johnson, but then her happy expression turned into disgust when she noticed Lily needed a diaper change. -”Poo poo!” went Lily. -”Do you have any. . .?” Mrs. Johnson asked, until Lisa brought out a fresh one. -”Right here!” said Lisa, as she handed Mrs. Johnson a fresh diaper. -”I'll take care of this, while the two of you continue with Lincoln's project,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she brought Lily to the bathroom. -”So Lisa do you think we can develop a stronger chemical mixture to help the germs maintain their physical structure after they get mutated?” asked Lincoln.” -”Yes!” responded Lisa. “I began researching last night, and found a new way to mesh the chemicals, in order to make the mutagen that much stronger,” said Lisa. With that, the two of them began to get another batch of the mutagen ready, and test it out on the germs. They poured a drop of the mutagen onto the germ, and it mutated into it's creature form. “Hopefully this time the one celled organism can survive in this state,” said Lisa. -”I sure hope so!”responded Lincoln. They stayed there to analyze their progress, and this time it seemed like the mutated germ was able to maintain it's physical integrity. “Brilliant!” said Lincoln. -”I need to use the lavatory,” said Lisa. “Can we please direct me to it?” -”It's down the hall, and to the left,” said Lincoln, and Lisa headed to the bathroom. She took care of her business, and was heading back to the classroom, when those two boys showed up again. -”It's the worm!” shouted the first boy. -”No!” said Lisa to herself. -”Got anything to say worm?” asked one of them. Lisa just stood there silent, and then the two of them came closer. “Looks like the worm has nothing to say,” said the second boy. -”I think I know how we can a sound out of her,” said the first boy, as they lifted her up. -”Put me down you ruffians!” demanded Lisa. -”She's mouthing off again,” said the first boy, as they stuffed her into a locker. -”Let me out!” shouted Lisa, as she banged the locker. “Please let me out?” -”What a baby!” said the second boy, as the two of them laughed. -”Leave my sister alone you jerks!” shouted Lincoln. -”What was that you runt?” asked the first boy. -”I told you to leave my sister alone,” said Lincoln. They opened the locker, and lifted Lisa out. “You want her?” said the second boy. “Then come and get her,” he said, as they lifter her in front of them. -”Let her go!” demanded Lincoln. -”Sure!” said the first boy, as they threw her towards them. -”I've got you Lisa,” said Lincoln, as he caught her. -”Never torment my sister again you punks!” shouted Lincoln. -”Looks like the nerd needs to be taught some respect,” said the first boy, as they approached him. -”That's enough!” shouted Mrs. Johnson, as she walked towards them. “So you boys have been tormenting Lincoln's sister, well now you're both busted,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she handed them Lily, and led the boys to the principal's office. -”Are you okay Lisa?” asked Lincoln. -”Yes!” responded Lisa. -”Why didn't you tell me those boys were bullying you?” asked Lincoln. -”I felt like it just a minor annoyance, and I didn't want you to get hurt trying to stick up for me,” said Lisa. -”I don't care if I get hurt,” said Lincoln. “If some creep is messing with my family, then I come to there aid no matter what.” -”Thanks Lincoln!” said Lisa, as she hugged him. The day of the science fair had finally arrived, and Lincoln was waiting at his tab;e for the judges to arrive. “How do you think my project will do Lisa?” asked Lincoln. -”No one else here has what we have,” said Lisa. “Your project is sure to win big brother.” Just then the judges came by, and analyzed Lincoln's project. -”Impressive right?” asked Lincoln, as he poured the mutagen onto the germs, and they mutated into creature forms. -”There are no other science projects quite like this one,” said Mrs. Johnson, who was impressed. -”True!” said one of the judges.” -”However young man this is a science fair, not a science fiction convention,” said another judge. -”What?” shouted Lincoln and Lisa in unison. -”We're looking for actual science,” said the third judge. “Not some horror movie exhibit.” With that the three judges walked off to judge the other kids projects. -”That was unexpected,” said Lisa. -”I don't believe that,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she angrily walked over to the judges. -”I'm just happy that entering this science fair helped my science grade,” said Lincoln. -”Those pompous fools!” said Lisa angrily. Later after the judges gave the first place winner his ribbon, they came back to Lincoln's table. “For a unique scientific project we award you, Lincoln Lid, second place,” said the first judge. -”Wow!” said Lincoln. -”You deserve it Lincoln,” said Mrs. Johnson. “By the way your science grade has vastly improved Lincoln,” said Mrs. Johnson, as she walked off. -”Well this is pretty cool,” said Lincoln, as he held up his second place ribbon. -”Congratulations big brother,” said Lisa. After the science fair was over the two of them headed back home, and Lincoln was happy with his accomplishment. “I can't believe I actually won a price at a science fair,” said Lincoln. -”You really showed your improved chemistry skills tonight Lincoln,” said Lisa. -”Thanks Lisa!” said Lincoln. “If it hadn't been for you, than this never would have happened.” -”Always happy to help Lincoln,” said Lisa. “and thank you for what you did for me. I should have just told you from the beginning what was going on.” -”No matter who it is that's messing with my family,” said Lincoln, “I will always come to their aid.” -”Thanks Lincoln,” said Lisa, as the two of them engaged in a big hug. “Now I believe you have something to add to your section,” said Lisa, as she opened the trophy case. Lincoln put his second place ribbon right along with his most improved brother trophy, and his gaming trophy, and he looked towards the audience. “Thanks to Lisa I improved my science grade, and I have another achievement to ad to my section. I feel like part of it belongs to Lisa, because if it hadn't been for her, this never would have happened,” said Lincoln, as he and Lisa looked on at Lincoln's accomplishment. The End Trivia * The title I gave this fan fiction is actually one of the suggestions I gave to THELOUDHOUSEFANATIC for his fan fic Scientific Rudeness (which was also a title suggestion from me). * While my fan fic Cold Logic was a Lisa centered story, it wasn't a Lincoln/Lisa story, and that was the intention for this. * Like with Lincoln the Illusionist, I didn't want to repeat plot elements of Lincoln being in a science fair to win a prize, so THELOUDHOUSEFANATIC helped me to come up with the idea of Lincoln doing it to improve his grade in science. ** He also inspired the idea of bullies Lincoln's age, harassing Lisa. * This is my fourth story after Date of Darkness, Mo-dilemma, and Beach Blanket Lincoln to have a limited number of the Loud siblings. ** Ironically this was going to be a story with only Lincoln and Lisa, until I got the idea for the Lily joke with Mrs. Johnson. * It took me a while to come up with the science project that Lisa helps Lincoln to create. * While Lincoln's major goal was simply to improve his grade in science, I still had it where he wins something in the science fair. Category:Episodes Category:Episodes focusing on Lisa Loud Category:Episodes focusing on Lincoln Loud